David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
