The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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