apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I enjoy the company of your penis
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
