i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
