I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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