like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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