UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
