There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
