I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We got so high we made milksteak
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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