um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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