you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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