last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
