you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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