I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
