yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
