I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
