wakey wakey hands off snakey
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
