My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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