We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
We're too hungover to prance.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
