haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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