did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
