so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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