i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He passed out mid-signature
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
