ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
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