i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
