Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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