wrigley field is MILF paradise
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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