i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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