airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
