i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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