having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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