He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
