Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
