i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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