I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
