We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
