Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
