Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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