Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
