it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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