I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
they're like a gay fantastic four
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
