remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you win again, gameday.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So squirting runs in the family.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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