found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize