Me too!
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
