it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Found your dick twin last night
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
