I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
