I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
