so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
