So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
