no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
