I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
It's Friday. Sex?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
